My fourth time at Toul Sleng prison. I don't feel it necessary to go inside the buildings anymore. I listen to the audio tour; some facts familiar, some new. The sense of sickness doesn't consume me here anymore. A calm and remembrance is more accurate. It is not a lack of respect or numbness, it is an acceptance. I do not need to see the horrors again, now is my time to reflect on how I will do all I can do to make the world a better place. My heart breaks to see older people at S-21 and the Killing Fields. They are returning to the places their family and friends were killed and tortured. Returning to a place of such pain and sadness. Perhaps these places have become a place of calm and sanctuary to them as it has become to me? There is such silence and tranquility here now. The only noises are the birds and crickets communicating, the soft footsteps of visitors paying respects. To me, these moments are moments of reflection. A place to choose; am I going to take every possible chance to better myself and cause a ripple effect into every life I touch? Am I going to recognize that every action I take will have a reaction? What legacy will I leave?
The students in my tuk tuk left S-21 impacted. They were horrified, shocked and at the same time, inspired. Inspired to learn from the tragedies and mistakes of the past and go forth as a knowledgable light to others. As we go into our first day at the school and orphanage, our student volunteers are on fire to make a difference, one moment at a time.
