Love. It's a unique thing. The more love you give, the more love you get. The more heartbreaks you endure, the greater you can love and be loved. The more you love, the more you hurt, and the more you love again. You can never run out of love. You have an endless supply. Be generous with your love. Hold nothing back. Give give give. No one is undeserving, no one has too much or too little. Even if you think you have nothing, you still have love. Love creates more love when given away. Share all your love and be grateful for the love you receive.
The end of our trip is quickly approaching, and I am not ready to leave. I am never ready to leave, but this time seems to have gone by quicker than usual.
When looking at the faces of the kids at CPO, you would not guess the struggles they have seen. So many of their stories break my heart. Srey Pi hasn't seen her father in years, and only sees her mother a few times a year. She and her brother Lao have been at CPO for 7 years, so at this point it is home and the other children are her family. Srey Na, Srey Neath and SokHeng hardly ever see their father. Their mother is an addict who dropped their new half brother, Pan Ya, off a few months ago. Pan Ya is under two and there is another baby on the way, once again from a different father. The mother was given refuge at the orphanage for a short period of time, but after she brought around a few too many questionable characters and spent more time drinking with these strangers than caring for her kids, Mama kicked her out. Her kids clearly have a love hate relationship with her. They are desperate for her attention, yet somehow know she is not worth their time. She came to the orphanage the last day, when Pan Ya got very sick. Mama had to yell at her and pay for her tuk tuk. She arrived dressed in very nice clothes and wearing makeup, not what you would expect for a woman too poor to care for her children. She made herself at home eating half the food that was intended for her son. Ravey had lost her father a few years ago. She, her mother and brothers repeatedly snuck across the Thai border looking for work. One of these attempts led to her and one of her brothers being imprisoned in Thailand for a month. Even Heang, Mama and Papa's own son, is treated like any other cast away, ordered to do his parents laundry and never showed affection by his own flesh and blood.
Although Niroon's family struggles to make ends meet, at least there is love and family values. Watching Rath or Rhett with Warot's new baby girl is adorable. They clearly love and care for their niece very deeply. The older siblings look after the younger ones, it is a rougher love than we are used to, but a love none the less. Niroon is very much a momma's boy. He is so proud of her and she cares for him every day. She may not be able to support her children, or give them the most stable of environments, but she does love them the best she can, which is admirable.
It makes me sad to think of what life is like for the kids when we leave. They receive so much love when we are here. I honestly think some have never heard "I love you" before meeting us. There is structure in their lives with us. Someone to show them how to take care of themselves and be responsible, do laundry, clean their rooms, do homework. Children here grow up so much faster than children at home because they must. There is no one there for them besides themselves and each other. They are forced into adulthood far sooner than any American child.
There are so many contributing factors to why Cambodia is so beautiful, the number one reason being the people. The kind, loving, beautiful souls that this country produces are why I will always love it here. The smiles that mask all pain and sadness. The action of living in the present moment, enjoying each second as it comes, and being grateful for all good fortune that comes your way. Every moment spent with these people brings love, peace and gratitude over me like a crashing wave, and I will bask in the remnants of these feelings until I return again.
